The Fun in Funeral
by Lenister
Summary: A series of one-shots of characters talking to each other in (SPOILER'S) funeral. Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame.
1. Peter & Harley

"You knew him well?"

Harley turned around and saw a boy around his age with brown hair.

"Not really. Saved his butt once, though. " He shook the boy's hand. "Sorry, who are you?"

"Peter… Potts. I'm a… nephew. Of Pepper. Aunt Pepper."

There was a pause.

Peter felt a little uncomfortable talking to Harley, a person he knew nothing about, but being surrounded by so many famous superheroes and government agents made him feel overwhelmed. Harley was the only person around his age, and he found talking with him much easier than with Doctor Banner or Nick Fury.

"So, Pete, what did you think of him?" He didn't need to say the name.

"Well, he wasn't the warmest person on Earth when I met him, that's for sure. He used to mess around with me a lot, flirting with my aunt and stuff." Pete stopped, thinking he had said too much, but Harley didn't seem to notice. "But the more I got to knew him, the more I realized he was just out of his depth, and didn't want to repeat the mistakes his dad did."

"Well, looks like it worked all right." Harley looked at Morgan Stark talking with Happy.

Peter wanted to talk to the little girl as well, but, what would he even say that would make Morgan feel better after losing her father? Then he remembered a time, not too long ago, in which a young boy found out the only father he had ever known had been taken before his time. He knew exactly what to say.

"Gotta go talk to her." He said before walking away.

Harley looked around at the other guests. All the Avengers were there, all the people Tony's life had touched in some way (also, a racoon walking on two feet; Harley didn't dare to ask). There was, however, one missing.

"Pete."

"Yeah?"

"Are you Spider-Man?" Harley asked in the same tone he would use to ask if Peter was a Mets' fan. Peter looked as if he had been asked if he was Thanos in disguise.

"Me, Spider-Man? Nooooooo." He brushed off. "That guy's like, thirty, and full of tattoos."

"OK. It's just,… it's weird that he's the only one not around here."

"That's because he had some business in… space." He mumbled.

"What's Spider-Man doing in space?"

Peter shrugged his shoulders.

"How should I know?"

Harley smiled to himself as he saw Peter go towards Morgan. Pete sounded like a nice guy, but boy, did he suck at lying.

* * *

**So, what did you guys think? Should I continue to do more?**

**If you suggest any characters in the reviews, I can't promise I'll include them, but I might give it a try.**


	2. Doctor Strange & the GOTG

Star-Lord got away from the funeral as soon as he could and went over to the nearest bar. Tasting his fifth shot of bourbon, he wished he could be back in space, with decent booze.

The other patrons fell silent all of a sudden, which is the usual reaction when you see a green man, a blue woman, a girl with antennae, a talking tree and a raccoon walking through the door.

"Here you are," Rocket said. "We've been looking for your ass for hours."

"Well, now you've found it." Peter hadn't taken his eyes from the glass.

"What's your problem, man?"

"Guys, I'm fine!"

Mantis tapped him gently on the shoulder and her antennae shone.

"No, he's not," she said.

"Just leave me alone!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Quill, come back to the funeral," Rocket's tone was much more assuaging this time.

"What for? I barely knew the guy. And I'm sure his family and friends aren't wondering where the space guy whose name they can't even remember went."

"Is this about Gamora?" Nebula's sudden question caught everyone by surprise. "Peter, we'll find her."

"Not my Gamora. Maybe you and she can get along, since you only met, like, twice after she vamoosed from your Dad, but she's not the woman I knew. We never saved the galaxy together. We never danced together. We never…"

"May I speak alone with Mr. Quill?"

They all turned around to the sound of Dr. Strange's deep baritone voice.

"And who were you again?" Rocket asked.

"He's Doctor Weird. He helped us on the fight against Thanos," replied Drax.

"It's 'Strange'," The doctor frowned.

"I'm not familiar with Earth's naming customs, so I dare not say."

Strange decided to ignore the Destroyer and sat on the place near Peter. The rest of the Guardians left the place to give them some privacy.

"You want me to go back to the funeral too?"

"If that's what you want."

Peter finished his sixth shot.

"And do what? Go over to Stark's daughter and say 'Sorry for getting your Dad killed'?"

"Tony sacrificed himself."

"He never would have had to if I hadn't screwed up."

Strange put his hand on Peter's shoulder and looked him straight in the eye.

"Peter, when I was on Titan I observed 14,000,605 possible futures, and 14,000,604 of them left the universe on a worse situation than the one it's currently in. And let me assure you, there were many in which you kept your cool."

And for the first time since he ran into that spaceship's debris, Star-Lord seemed to brighten up.

"Thanks, doc. Also, I know we don't know each other all that well, but… do you think this new Gamora and me…"

"Well, you managed to win her over the first time. Now you know what to do and, most importantly, what not to do," Strange then took a sip of his own drink. "Even if it doesn't work out, don't worry. You're a good man, Peter Quill. You'll find someone."

Peter smiled.

"Well, how about we get out of this hole?" He asked while stretching. "No offense," he said to the bartender.

"None taken," The barman said "As long as you pay for those drinks."

"Oh, right," He searched his coat's pockets. "Shit! Doc, would you mind paying this one? I haven't had Earth currency on me for like, thirty years."

The doctor frowned.

"I'll pay you back, I promise!"

(Later on)

"Steve, mind if use the Time Stone one last time?"

Captain America looked at the suitcase he was carrying.

"I was about to give it back. Your old master was pretty insistent on it being a loan."

"I promise it'll just be a second."

And the sorcerer used the Infinity Stone one last time to glimpse into the abyss of the future. Disappointed, he gave it back to Steve.

Star-Lord was not going to pay him back.

* * *

**So, what did you think? **

**I'm sorry for the delay, but between classes, studying for the exams and writer's block this is the soonest I can manage.**

**Oh, and Calvin, you've given me an idea for an Ant-Man-Wasp-Ghost chapter. **


	3. Steve & Wanda

Wanda approached Steve near the lake, where no one would hear them.

"I've been told you're taking the Stones back to their timelines," she said.

"Tomorrow at noon," he answered, sadly. "Along with Thor's hammer."

"Maybe we could keep one of them."

Steve turned to Wanda with a curious look on his face. He had guessed which stone she was thinking of.

"Just one. That way the other timeline wouldn't have to suffer Thanos' Snap. Ultron wouldn't be created, Rhodey wouldn't have damaged his spine, and my brother would still…"

Tears were starting to form in her eyes.

"Wanda, the Mind Stone was part of Vision, but it isn't Vision, anymore than I'm my shield or Tony was his armor."

Bruce had told the team that he had tried to bring Vision back along with everyone else, to no avail. He had assumed that the Mind Stone being within the gauntlet at the time precluded it.

Wanda hugged Steve and started to sob uncontrollably.

"I just miss him. So much. I wished I would never have to feel this bad after Pietro died, but it's back. I miss him"

"Me too," said the Captain while stroking her hair. "But Vis once told me that a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. Take it from a man who has lost so many. Your grief will pass."

He kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear:

"I'll miss you."

Wanda Maximoff lifted her face looking confused.

"But… I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

**So, anything you guys want to say?**

**NinjaDevil2000, thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot. I couldn't think of a dialogue between Steve and Morgan, so I hope this serves. I'm trying to come up with a chapter for Morgan, but writing children is so damn hard.**


	4. The Lang-Pym Family

"Maybe I misjudged him," said Hank.

He and Scott were hanging around the hall, talking about the deceased hero.

"Did you ever get to meet him?" asked Scott

"Once, at his father's funeral, and a few business meetings afterwards. Howard wasn't the 'bring your kid to work day' type. Then again, neither was I."

"You know, I once talked to him about you," said Scott.

"Really?" He looked curious. "What did you say?"

At that, Scott became a little apprehensive.

"I told him 'Hank Pym always said, you never can trust a Stark'."

"What? Why did you say that?"

"I was pissed. The guy had just sent me to superhero Guantanamo."

"God, he must have gone to death thinking I was a dick."

"I wouldn't worry about it. He didn't seem to care much when I told him. I bet he probably forgot all about you."

Too late, Scott realized that was not what the old man needed to hear.

"I just feel so useless. While you and Hope were out there saving the world, I had to stay at home and keep my fingers crossed, hoping nothing would happen to either one of you. I was Ant-Man, dammit."

Hank sounded frustrated.

"Hank, c'mon, don't say that. It was your particles that helped us make the Resurrection possible in the first place. No Pym Particles, no Stones. You may not have fought on Wakanda or on the Avengers compound, but that victory was yours every bit as it was ours."

He put his hand on Hank's shoulder for emphasis. The old man smiled.

* * *

**(Later. That night)**

Hank, Scott, Hope, and Janet went back to San Francisco by Quinjet, and then they travelled to Scott's home by car. Hope entered the door to greet Cassie.

"Well, I suppose you'll want to spend the rest of the evening with your family," Hank said before turning around.

"Hank, wait!" Scott stopped him, grabbing his arm. "There's one more thing I want to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"Well, you know my father died when I was a kid and Peggy parent's passed away a few years ago, so I was thinking that, if you and Janet ever get bored, you could visit whenever you want, hang around the house…"

"Scott, are you asking me to be Cassie's foster grandparent."

"I don't want you to feel pressured; you can say no if you want, no hurt feelings. It's just that, of the four of us, you're the only one with experience raising a teenage daughter."

Hank smiled.

"I'm honored, but I have to warn you that I did a shitty job the first time around."

"Then I guess this will be a learning experience for both of us." Scott smiled back.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds thereafter, until Janet got off the car and yelled:

"Just give him a hug, you old grump!"

And he did.

* * *

Scott, Cassie and Hope were hanging by the porch, watching the fireworks signaling the national holiday decreed to celebrate the Avengers victory over Thanos and the reversion of the Snap.

"Promise me you'll never leave me like that again," Cassie asked her father.

"You know I can't promise you that, Peanut," Scott hugged her tightly. "But I can assure you I'll strive to get away from trouble as much as I can. For starters, no more Ant-Man. As of this day I'm simply Scott Lang, security consultant and…" Before he could finish his sentence, Scott realized something. "Crap, I'd forgotten about the company! Must have closed down years ago. I'm unemployed."

"Worry about that tomorrow. Now it's time to celebrate," Hope interrupted.

"Yeah, you're right," Scott looked towards the sky. "It's amazing, how your whole life can change in just a second."

"Tell me about it."

Scott and the girls jumped from the ground and stared at the stranger whose voice they had heard coming from the house.

"I spent my whole life trying to stop myself from disintegrating, and two days after going back to normal, a purple alien turns me into dust."

Scott and Hope sighed in relief.

"Goddammit, Ava, don't scare us like that," Scott said.

"How long have you been here?" Hope asked.

"A few minutes. I was waiting for the perfect time," she answered, smiling.

She sat on the nearest chair she could find.

"You could have warned me about the battle on the compound, by the way. I'd have liked to show this Thanos some old-fashioned quantum energy."

"Yeah, well, Doctor Strange was running on a tight schedule. I still can't believe he managed to gather so many people in just twenty minutes."

"Better luck next time, I guess," she said while staring at the fireworks.

The three other people looked at her dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond.

"Please don't say things like that," Scott pleaded at last.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay, guys, but here I am at last with another chapter. **

** Calvin, I hope you enjoyed this chapter with Ghost and the Langs. **


	5. Bruce & General Ross

Bruce left the funeral early to work on the Quantum Portal. He was thinking of bringing in Hank Pym to help when he heard someone approaching.

"Doctor Banner," Ross saluted him.

"Secretary Ross," Bruce replied dryly.

"I'm not the Secretary of State anymore. Truth be told, I don't know what I am." Ross had been among the people dusted by Thanos' snap. "They tell me the Accords were repealed while I was gone."

"The UN had bigger problems to deal with, and they realized we could help them better if we weren't in jail."

There was a silence.

"I was surprised to see you at the funeral," he commented. And it was true; he wasn't expecting to see Ross there. Despite working together, the secretary and Stark had never got along.

"As was I to see the invitation. I guess it was a courtesy." The topic seemed to make him uncomfortable.

"How's Betty?" Bruce asked to break the awkward silence. The general's daughter had also been one of Thanos' victims.

"She's… well," he replied. "You know, it's funny. Betty was the first person I called after coming back. I asked her how she was and she said she was OK. But then, she didn't ask me how I was. She asked me if I knew anything about you, in spite of the fact that you had been missing at that point for two years, and hadn't talked to her for eight."

Banner didn't reply. He knew he had to talk to Betty one day, but he wasn't ready. Not after losing Nat so recently.

"What are you planning on doing now?" Bruce asked.

"I'm retired. Or I will be, as soon as my friends in DC pass a bill classifying me, and another one hundred and sixty million Americans, as not dead."

"It must suck, waiting for the government to give you back your rights."

Bruce couldn't help himself from throwing some shade at the main enforcer of the Accords, a law that had thrown people into prison without trial and turned most of his friends into fugitives.

The former general gave him a look that was equal parts anger and sadness.

"This will not last forever, you know," he finally said. "Right now, the whole world is celebrating, thanking its heroes for doing the impossible. But there'll come a day when that amazement will turn to fear, when they'll wonder if the next time you do the impossible, it'll be in their best interests. New accords will be drafted, maybe harsher than last time. When that day comes, I wish you luck."

Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross started to leave.

"It won't be like last time," Bruce Banner said with confidence.

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because last time, they didn't have me."

* * *

**Well, I had an inspiration and made this in one of my spare hours. What did you think? Be honest, please. I accept constructive criticism.**

**If you want me to make a chapter with a character of your choosing, write it in the reviews or in a PM and I might give it a try.**


	6. Carol & Nick

**WARNING: This chapter has very mild spoilers for Spider-Man: Far from Home.**

The two friends found a place to speak privately.

"As far as funerals go, that wasn't half bad," Nick said.

"Have you thought of how yours is gonna go?" she inquired.

"Already had one. I even have a tombstone somewhere in DC, with a Tarantino quote and all."

The one eyed veteran looked to the river.

"Since I wasn't there, you're gonna have to tell me how it went," he said.

"Well, basically, I grabbed the Gauntlet, but the purple shit wouldn't let go."

"He gave you any trouble?" he asked.

"Not one bit," she replied with a smile, which sadly didn't last more than a second. "Until he grabbed the Space Stone from the gauntlet and blasted me with it."

"Didn't know he could do that."

"Neither did I. And if Tony hadn't played the same trick, times six,… well, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

They stayed silent for a while.

"Did you think of snapping the glove yourself?" Fury wondered.

"No," Carol admitted. "The whole time, I was hoping we could wipe Thanos without it. The Avengers had warned me that using it was, at the very least, likely to make me lose an arm."

"Stark lost a lot more than that."

"It takes a special endurance."

Nick raised his glass.

"For Stark, and his good-enough endurance."

Carol raised hers.

"For Tony."

And they both drank. Secretly, though, Carol begged that a day would come in which the world would need her arm more than it would need Tony Stark.

"What're you gonna do know?" Nick wondered.

"I'm going to visit Maria and Monica, and then… back to space it is."

"How's the situation out there?"

"The Snap? Pretty much the same as here."

"Are you going to visit our friends with the funny chins?"

"At some point. And Nick, from their perspective, we're the ones with the funny chins."

Nick disregarded Carol's taunt calling him a racist.

"I'd like you to deliver a message."

His tone left no doubt that the message he was about to give her was very serious.

"What is it?" Carol asked.

"We can't keep waiting for the Chitauri, or the Kree, or whoever's next to invade Earth whenever they please. I've got a plan to tackle these threats before it's too late."

Carol listened carefully.

* * *

(Later on)

Nick Fury and Maria Hill saw Carol Danvers fly away from the Starks' house.

"I can't believe she never came back to Earth this whole time." Maria said.

"Who said she never came back this whole time?" replied Fury.

"Wait, she has come back? Then why didn't you tell her to come when the Chitauri were destroying New York?"

Fury frowned at his right-hand woman, looking slightly annoyed.

"Who says I didn't?"

* * *

(11 years before)

Nick was at his home, watering the plants, when a woman in a space suit came down from the sky covered in a ball of fire.

"Mother…flerken! You wanna give me a heart attack?"

"What's the emergency?" Carol asked hurriedly.

"What?"

"The emergency. You paged me to come here, and I told you to only use it if there was an emergency."

"That was two weeks ago!" he shouted.

"WHAT? You mean I've been flying in space for two weeks for nothing?"

Fury didn't dare to say "Duh" to Carol, but his body expression did it for him. Carol's said "Unbelievable" in return.

"And what was it?" she inquired.

"We don't have an alien encyclopedia. All I know is these bug-faced bastards from outer space came down on New York to take the Tesseract and my team had to take them down. The cube is now on Asgard, by the way."

Having calmed down, Carol took a seat and they started to make small talk.

"How's Gus?"

"Good, very good. In fact, there's this funny story that happened the other day. The pizza guy wouldn't consider it fun, but…"

* * *

**Sorry for the delay, guys. I really tried to update sooner, but I've been busy, and the inspiration didn't come.**

**So, did you like this chapter? Is everything OK? And also, have you guys seen Spider-Man Far From Home?**


	7. Wanda & Clint

Captain America's last words had left Wanda confused. She was pondering what he could have meant when Clint came up to her with 3 kids who must have been his children.

"Wanda, I wanted you to meet my kids: Lila, Cooper and Nathaniel Pietro."

Wanda remembered that Clint had named one of his sons after her late brother. She had never blamed Barton for his death, but she knew the archer must have suffered a little bit of survivor's guilt.

"Poppa said he got you out of the Avengers compound," said little Nate.

"Really?" she inquired, glancing at Clint. "That's what Poppa told you?"

"Yeah, well. I had a bit of help," Barton conceded in the understatement of his lifetime.

"Is it true that you almost took down Thanos?" asked Barton's little girl.

"Yeah, well. I had a bit of help," she replied with malice while looking at Clint.

"Can you teach me to do magic? The bow and arrows feel boring," said Lila.

Clint didn't even blink at that. He was used to it.

"It's not magic, it's… I don't know exactly what it is. But only I can do it. Also, you shouldn't underestimate the bow and arrows. Your father saved the universe just with that." She looked towards Clint with a smile.

"Guys, would you leave Daddy and Wanda alone for some time?"

The kids left them to join their mother. Clint and Wanda turned towards the lake.

"All around the world people are celebrating having their loved ones back. We must be the only ones in mourning," Clint said. "Did you ever stop missing Pietro?"

"Not fully, no."

They went silent for a minute.

"You know, I wish there was a way that I could let her know... that we won," he said. "We did it."

"She knows. They both do."

* * *

**Sorry for taking this long, guys. I went on vacation with my family and I couldn't get behind the computer for so long. Also, even when I could get behind the computer I couldn't think of anything to write about.**

**I have to warn you that this might the last or second to last chapter of Fun in Funeral. I plan on making one last chapter centered on Morgan, but you're warned that it might take me as long to make as this one.**

**I also plan on making a new story centered in Spider-Man and Hulk. **


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